It is evident that my growth into becoming a sufficient writer required many, many restless nights of wondering why I was so different. After all, I don't know how to write. At least that is what I thought then. Instead, as I found out, my writing teachers did not know how to teach writing. Looking back, until my freshman year of high school, I had very few examples of positive writing. Ten academic years of my life were filled with negativity toward writing and discouraging words about my writing process. Yes, my writing process. Writing was always looked at as a punishment or a chore that was required by the State of Michigan, State of Nevada, and the United States. Writing was never something we did for pleasure. Even when my elementary school teachers let me write about what I did on Christmas Break or Summer Vacation, the restrictions (five sentences or at least one sentence has to be a question) were so asinine that the joy was taken right out of the assignment. The teachers’ approach toward writing wasn’t any better than our reception, now that I think about it. I can sadly remember many times where a teacher would stand in front of the class and say “I’m sorry that we have to do this, but please pull out your writing notebook.” Consequently, the students started to absolutely abhor writing. While this may be looked at as an extremity, it is a bittersweet realization.
Why bittersweet? I fail to look at my beginning years of writing as a negative. Sure, the educators in charge of bringing my writing up to an adequate level failed on quite a few levels. Why should I feel negatively? I was the learner, not the educator. Instead, I feel for the educators that travelled--many of which are now retired (what did I do to them?) down the teaching path without proper guidance. Looking back, it is quite heartbreaking. I cannot go back to Kindergarten and start over; that is just not an option. Nor, would I want it to be an option. What I can do (and do frequently), however, is to remember and reflect upon my negative experiences and make future experiences so powerful that they begin to overtake the negativity that surrounded so much of my writing.
Why bittersweet? I fail to look at my beginning years of writing as a negative. Sure, the educators in charge of bringing my writing up to an adequate level failed on quite a few levels. Why should I feel negatively? I was the learner, not the educator. Instead, I feel for the educators that travelled--many of which are now retired (what did I do to them?) down the teaching path without proper guidance. Looking back, it is quite heartbreaking. I cannot go back to Kindergarten and start over; that is just not an option. Nor, would I want it to be an option. What I can do (and do frequently), however, is to remember and reflect upon my negative experiences and make future experiences so powerful that they begin to overtake the negativity that surrounded so much of my writing.
